Uncategorized
-
The Fawn Gentle and warm She lays there silently Softly she rises and walks making no noise She keeps her head down “Don’t hurt me” she cries though big gentle eyes She makes herself as small as possible Trying to stay out of everyone’s way She doesn’t want to make anyone feel threatened Or bother…
-
The sunrises on a day when most people are honoring their fathers, their grandfathers, their great-grandfathers, whether they are still here to honor or honor their legacy.When this day holds so much emotion, so much anger, confusion, grief, and longing. She wanders the forest in a daze, walks through the markets lost and unfocused. She…
-
Dear Daddy, That is the first time I have called you that in 9 years. I quit using any terms of endearment when I told you that I never wanted to see you again. That day on the phone, when I found out just how much of the darkness you had given yourself over to.…
-
Seven, the number of completion in the Bible July 4th, a day of Independence, a celebration of freedom July 7th, 2024, the completion of my freedom and independence She sits in the auditorium, desperately trying to focus on what the pastor is teaching, something about the psalms, but her mind is elsewhere. Until the end…
-
I don’t know where to begin; so much happened on this trip. We have been back for two weeks, and I have spent that time trying to process everything that happened, the good, the bad, the growth, the pain, the joy, the fear. Often, I can express what I cannot verbally through writing. So here…
-
About two months ago, I was sitting in church service, minding my own business. We had just finished worshiping through song, and our Missions and Outreach pastor was talking about upcoming summer missions trips, when suddenly my friend turned and slapped me on the leg and said, “You should go to Puerto Rico.” I chuckled…
-
It’s been about a year and a half since I started really deconstructing and just over a year since I hit the bottom and questioned God’s existence. Healing from relgious trauma was one of the hardest things I have ever done; there was such a deep root of shame, condemnation, and fear in me. Processing…
-
Deconstructing often gets a bad reputation in faith-based communities; oftentimes, people immediately assume it means that someone is leaving the faith altogether, and in some cases, it might, but for some of us, it is just a natural result of religious trauma. Even those who do turn away don’t do it for fun; it’s a…
-
I always felt like the problem child at church; I was the girl who talked too much and who laughed too loudly. I was the defiant girl who turned her chair around when the teachers showed a “bad” movie. I was the problem child who refused to kick a football from the pulpit into the…
-
CSPTD I should be over this by now, I feel myself as I leave the office for an unplanned mental health day. It’s been 9 years, shouldn’t I be over this by now? As I continue shaming myself, the truth comes in: yes, it’s been 9 years of freedom, but it was 22 years of…
